Sunday, July 5, 2015

Give me a break

The last post was in year 2014, after disappearing for months, I'm back here with some thoughts of my recent life.
Sometimes I should tell myself the stress ain't stress. I supposed I can cope it. But slowly everything I used to sweep my emotional needs under the carpet, and slowly the passion gone.

I have read a book, telling me about controlling my temper, not to get angry when I am angry. Then, people are expecting me not to get angry anymore. A good side of me, people will never see it. Unlike the sister in law who is coming back everyweek, then every 2 weeks, I mean once every 3 weeks. On her back on this 1 and a half day, the workload was like what she can do for a month. Never rest for the 1 and a half day. So, people sees her effort of being a daughter in law, a mom. On the pay day, she get paid. Wuhoo~
While on my case, I work in office every weekdays, then during weekends, I rest and take care of my kid, seldom do the housework especially when she is back, because she did all the jobs, mops the floor twice a day. I shall be seen as a bad wife and daughter in law.

I am a negative thinker, I thought myself had worked hard enough to keep life going, but people kept failing me. "No, you cannot bring the baby home." But that's my baby, why you control so much. I don't need you to pity on me, I can just send her out and let other people to take care of the kid, so that I can bring her home every week, while you can do whatever you like during weekdays.
My husband spent his 4 nights for his badminton, while I can just stay at home, take care of the baby. That's how my life works.

It has been hard being a negative thinker, I wanna be positive as well. But this is really difficult for me. So difficult.